Mind Your Manners

by Maria Grace 

In nearly every society, rules of etiquette abound. Strictures surrounding meals and eating are among the most common. The Regency era was no exception. In fact, a young woman’s ability to navigate the injunctions of etiquette could dramatically influence her chances of making a good marriage—which for most was the making or breaking of her future life. Published guides abounded to assist young women and their mothers in surmounting the challenges of polite society.

Dressing for dinner 

The first challenge was dress. Whether simply a family event or one with invited guests, members of the gentry and upper classes dressed for dinner in appropriate evening clothes. Typically dinner required half dress, a semi-formal style worn from afternoon to early evening and for informal evening occasions. For a formal dinner party full dress might be required. These formal evening gowns would have been on the same level of ballroom attire – but of a different style. Suitably formal manners at the dining table also prevailed.

Seating 

Within the dining room, guests were not assigned seats. The hostess sat at the head of the table with the highest ranking male guest at her right. The host took the foot of the table with the highest ranking female guest at his right. Other guests were free to select their own seats as they chose. Though there was a tacit understanding that seats closest to the hostess should be taken by the highest ranking guests.

Conventions later in the era suggested alternate male-female seating around the table, although little effort was generally made to insure equal numbers of male and female guests. As a general rule, husbands and wives did not sit together. The prevailing idea was that one saw enough of one’s spouse at home and ought to mingle with others instead.

Food 

Dinner during the Regency was an elaborate affair encompassing several courses with a multitude of dishes at each. Anywhere from five to twenty five dishes might be offered, depending on the grandeur of the occasion.

The first course always included soup and fish, often, more than one choice for each. The hostess served the soup, the host, the fish. He also carved all the meat joints. The first course included other dishes as well: meat, poultry, vegetables and starches all on the table at the same time.

In order to accommodate more dishes than the table would physically hold at one time, courses might include a ‘remove’ where half way through the course one dish was removed and replaced with another delicacy. At the end of the course, the dishes and first table cloth would be cleared away. The fresh table cloth, underneath the first would be reset with a second course, similar to, but somewhat lighter than the first.

At the end of the second course, the dishes and final tablecloth would be cleared and a dessert course would be served. Dessert included fruits, nuts, candies, biscuits and little cakes, sweetmeats and even ice creams.

Fortunately guests were not expected to try every dish on the table!

Serving 

Getting all this food onto the guest’s plates could be challenging. To help in the process, the hostess would acquaint her guests with the dishes on the table and sideboards, the wine and liquors on the side-board and with any removes added to the table after the course was served.

Each gentleman would serve himself and his neighbors from the dishes within his reach. As a matter of politeness, since eating a great deal was deemed indelicate in a lady, he would not fill her plate too full. Once he served her a small slice of meat, he would ask what kind of vegetable she preferred. If a dish was required from another part of the table, a manservant would be sent to fetch it. It was not good form to ask a neighbor to pass a dish. It was equally bad manners for the ladies to ask for wine. The nearest gentlemen needed to attend to that detail as well.

Toasts 

After the roasts of meat had been carved, a toast to good health would be proposed. Gentlemen could make lengthy toasts – and toasts in response to each other’s toasts. This ceremony could go on to excess, leading to interruption of the meal and drunkenness. It fell out of favor toward the end of the Regency period.

Table manners 

Specific rules had to be followed while eating. The soup course could never be refused, even if the diner only toyed with it until the fish course. If one ate the soup, it was scooped with the spoon away from the diner and sipped from the side of the spoon, not the point. Sipping should be accomplished noiselessly—one could not eat too quietly.

Eating quickly (which inferred poverty) or very slowly (which inferred dislike of the food) were considered vulgar. Those who showed too much interest in their food or were overly finicky about it opened themselves up to criticism.

Diners must not eat with their nose in the plate nor bring food to her mouth with a knife. If food had any liquid, it should be sopped with the bread and then raised it to the mouth. A lady’s napkin belonged in her lap, a gentlemen’s tucked in his collar. Between courses, water in finger bowls was available so that mouths could be rinsed or hands washed as fingers were probably used as frequently as forks.

During dinner, one did not scratch any part of the body, spit, lean elbows on the table, sit too far from the table, or pick teeth before the dishes were removed. A guest did not leave the table before grace was said.

Conversation 

During dinner, a gentleman was expected to entertain the ladies nearest him with engaging conversation. It was not polite to talk behind one guest's back to another, still less to shout down the table. To reduce general noise and confusion, there were rules of protocol developed for dinner conversation. During the first course, the conversation would flow to the hostess's left. When the second course was set, the hostess would turn to the guest on her right, thus “turning the table” and conversation would flow to her right.

The list of unacceptable topics far outnumbered the acceptable ones. A polite individual did not ask direct personal questions of someone they had just met. To question or even compliment anyone else on the details of their dress might also be regarded as impertinent. Scandal and gossip should be omitted from public conversation. Any references to pregnancy, childbirth, or other natural bodily functions were considered coarse and carefully sidestepped. A man could sometimes discuss his hunters or driving horses in the presence of ladies though it was generally discouraged.

Repaying the favor 

After a dinner party, ceremonial visits to acknowledge the hospitality had to be paid within two days. These calls would be paid later in the day than ‘morning calls,’ typically between three and four in the afternoon. Reciprocal dinner invitations must be promptly issued after that. Guests would not be invited again until that took place. Failure to return an invitation was considered a serious breach of etiquette and could lead to significant offense.

References 
A Lady of Distinction - Regency Etiquette, the Mirror of Graces (1811). R.L. Shep Publications (1997)
Black, Maggie & Le Faye, Deirdre - The Jane Austen Cookbook. Chicago Review Press (1995)
Byrne, Paula - Contrib. to Jane Austen in Context. Cambridge University Press (2005)
Day, Malcom - Voices from the World of Jane Austen. David & Charles (2006)
Downing, Sarah Jane - Fashion in the Time of Jane Austen. Shire Publications (2010)
Jones, Hazel - Jane Austen & Marriage . Continuum Books (2009)
Lane, Maggie - Jane Austen's World. Carlton Books (2005)
Lane, Maggie - Jane Austen and Food. Hambledon (1995) Laudermilk, Sharon & Hamlin, Teresa L. - The Regency Companion. Garland Publishing (1989)
 Le Faye, Deirdre - Jane Austen: The World of Her Novels. Harry N. Abrams (2002)
Ray, Joan Klingel - Jane Austen for Dummies. Wiley Publishing, Inc. (2006)
Ross, Josephine - Jane Austen's Guide to Good Manners. Bloomsbury USA (2006)
Selwyn, David - Jane Austen & Leisure. The Hambledon Press (1999)
Trusler, John - The Honours of the Table or Rules for Behavior During Meals. Literary-Press (1791)
Vickery, Amanda - The Gentleman's Daughter. Yale University Press (1998)
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 Maria Grace is the author of Darcy's Decision and The Future Mrs. Darcy. Click here to find her books on Amazon. For more on her writing and other Random Bits of Fascination, visit her website. You can also like her on Facebook, follow on Twitter or email her.

The Days of Lye and Laundry

by Maria Grace

 With all our modern conveniences, it is easy to forget how arduous everyday tasks were for our ancestors. Wash day in particular is one for which we take our modern appliances for granted.

Today, we gather the laundry and sort it, more or less, less if you’re one of my teen-aged sons. If it is a good day, we check for stains, pretreat the stains, then throw it all in the machine. Later we wander back to switch it to the dryer, muttering under our breath because the washer doesn’t have a buzzer to let us know it is done. At the sound of the buzzer, we return to dry, sweet smelling laundry, ready to fold and put away. Oh the horrors of it all!

How our 18th and early 19th century friends would envy us. For them, laundry definitely did not take place on a weekly basis and when it happened, it was a multi-day, all hands on deck experience. The ladies of the house, unless they were very high born, would work alongside the servants (at least until the Victorian era when more shunned the activity) in order to get the enormous task accomplished.

Sorting the Laundry

The wealthier a family, the more clothing they possessed, the longer they could stretch the time between washdays. The bulk of the laundry consisted of ‘body linen’. Worn next to the skin, under shirts, shifts, chemises and the like protected finer garments from skin oils and sweat that soiled clothing more than dirt from the outside. Consequently, finer garments were rarely laundered. These two facts explain why so much silk and wool clothing of the period survives for us to see now. Victorians added removable cuffs and collars to their garments for the same reasons. Removable-and replaceable-elements increased the garment’s lifespan by reducing the need to wash it.

Laundry days had to be carefully planned out in order to make best use of the resources, including daylight. The process often began the night before, with sorting the laundry. Lights, darks, flannels, calicos and fine clothing would all be separated and a special pile dedicated to the most heavily soiled items. Often, the dirtiest laundry was set to soak in soapy water or lye the night before the actual process began to minimize the time and effort spent scrubbing the next day. All this sounds rather familiar, but the real work has not even started yet.

Getting Ready to Wash 

A great deal of firewood needed to be available for laundry days. For a moderate size estates laundry, 150-200 lbs. of wood would be required to feed the laundry fires. Firewood might be gathered the day before, but if not, the laundress would need to move it to the laundry site that morning. That alone sounds like a substantial effort, but for her it was only the beginning. Once wood was gathered and fires started, water had to be hauled to fill the copper boiler and additional wash and rinse basins.

Laundresses preferred copper boilers because they did not rust and stain the clothing the way iron would. The typical boiler would need 20-40 gallons per load with an additional 10 gallons for scrub and rinse water. Depending on the location of the water source, this process alone could require miles of walking burdened with heavy yokes of water by the time the day was over. (Water weighs about 8 lbs. a gallon.)

Not surprisingly, very large estates might have an outbuilding dedicated to laundry where wood might be stored nearby and a water supply was more convenient. Such a building might also provide indoor drying space when the weather was inclement.

Of Lye and Laundry Bats

The laundress placed clothes in boiling water to loosen dirt, agitating them by hand with a washing bat, a two to three foot long wooden paddle. This was hot, heavy, exhausting work. After a quarter of an hour in the boiler, she removed the articles to a large basin of warm water to treat any remaining soiled areas with lye, soap or other stain treatment.

Plain lye formed the backbone of much of the everyday laundry cleaning arsenal and was fairly easy to obtain. Ashes from household fires were packed into a barrel with holes drilled in the bottom and lined with hay. Water was poured through the ashes and concentrated lye dripped from the holes.

Since soap was expensive and since lye could be made at home, poorer households might wash their laundry entirely without soap.

A variety of preparations might be used on stained clothing. Chalk, brick dust and pipe clay were used on greasy stains. Alcohol treated grass stains and kerosene, bloodstains. Milk was thought to remove urine stains and fruit. Ironically, urine, due to the ammonia content was often used for bleaching as were lemon and onion juice. Makes modern eyes water just thinking about the process.

To prevent fading, colored garments like calicos were not soaked or washed with lye or soda. They were washed in cold or lukewarm water by hand, rather than agitated with a bat. Ox-gall might be added to the water to help preserve the color.

Obtaining ox-gall meant sending a glass bottle to the butcher who would drain the liquid of cow’s gall bladders into it. Doesn’t that sound like what you want to add to your next wash cycle?

Articles that needed starching would be dipped in water that potatoes or rice had been cooked in and saved for laundry day. Laundresses were cautioned to make sure that the starch water had not soured or gone moldy before dipping clothing into it. Another appetizing thought.

Out of the Wash and on to Drying 

Box Mangle

Finally, after boiling, washing and rinsing, garments had to be prepared for drying. To speed drying, excess water had to be removed from the wet fabric. A wealthy household might employ a box mangle, a large contraption that wound laundry around rollers then rolled a heavy box over them to extract excess water. Few households could afford such a luxury.

More often, two people would work together to wring the water from the laundry by twisting. Afterwards, clothes would be hung on clotheslines--usually without clothespins, bushes, hedgerows, wooden frames or laid over the lawn to dry. Some estates and towns had drying greens, fields of grass for laundry to be dried upon. The chlorophyll in the grass and the sunshine also helped bleach fabrics. Inclement weather forced drying inside to kitchen and attic spaces.

As if this was not enough, after the laundry finally dried, nearly every article required pressing of some form. But the history of ironing is a subject for another post.


References

• Kristina Harris. Victorian Laundry (or, Aren't You Glad You Didn't Live Then?) 
• The Complexities of Wash Day in the 18th Century
• History of Washing Clothes
• History of Laundry 
• Michael Olmert. Laundries:Largest Buildings in the Eighteenth-century Backyard 
• Victoria Rumble. Victorian Era Laundry & Housekeeping 

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Free Google Books-digitized originals 

• Madam Johnson’s Present Every young woman’s companion in useful and universal knowledge(1770) 
•  Every Woman her own House-Keeper (1796)

 Maria Grace is the author of Darcy's Decision and The Future Mrs. Darcy. Click here to find her books on Amazon. For more on her writing and other Random Bits of Fascination, visit her website. You can also like her on Facebook, follow on Twitter(@WriteMariaGrace) or email her.