Games of Courtship

by Maria Grace

In Regency England, courtship and flirtation were very different than they are today. Couples could have very little unchaperoned contact with one another in company and none in private. So anything that might allow them to push those boundaries and keep reputations intact was bound to be popular. 

What’s more, without distractions like television or the internet, all classes of society played parlor games. What else was there to do during the long, dark winter nights when the cost of candles meant that everyone holed up together in one room in the evenings?

So, with everyone playing parlor games, it was only natural that young people—or those not so young—would make use of these pastimes to their greatest advantage.   Games spanned the spectrum from quiet sedate card or word games to very physically active games that could even involve physical touch. Each variety provided opportunities for the courting couple to interact in ways otherwise forbidden by proper society.

Consider how a flirtatious girl or determined beau might make use of games like Buffy Gruffy, Hot Cockles, Move All or How d'ye do? How d'ye do? 

Active Games

In Buffy Gruffy  a blindfolded player stands in the middle of the room while the others arrange their chairs in a circle and silently trade places. Someone claps to start the game. The blindfolded person passes around the chairs and stops in front of one. How one does this without stumbling and falling is rather a mystery, but it certainly does suggest cheating played a big role in the game.

The blindfolded player begins questioning the seated player to determine their identity. The answers are delivered in a disguised voice and with a great deal of evasion. All sorts of touching which would not otherwise have been appropriate might occur in the context of trying to figure out the other player’s identity, the degree largely dependent on what the players wanted to get away with and how diligent their chaperones might chose to be.   

Hot Cockles  took the same notion a step further. In this case the blindfolded player either stood, sat, or most interestingly of all, knelt with their head in another player’s lap. No doubt the Lydia Bennets would push for this version, while any proper chaperone would be having a heart attack.  

Other players would run up and touch the blindfolded person’s shoulder and have them guess who tapped them.  The mind boggles at how an enterprising young beau might use this game to their ends.

If having one’s beau’s head on one’s lap wasn’t enough, Move-all provided the opportunity to have said beau sit in one’s lap—if one managed it all carefully, that is. In this game, chairs are set out in a room, as far apart as possible, with one less chair than player. The chairless player stands in the center and shouts ‘Move all’ and everyone scrambles for a new seat. A great deal of pleasing impropriety might be disguised under the chaos.

Quiet Games

Others games offered the possibility for people to manage covert communications as part and parcel of the play.  In ‘I love my love with an a’, each person picks a letter  and completes the verse about ‘their love’ with words beginning with that letter. Anyone who cannot fulfil their verse or who repeats what has been said by another must pay a forfeit, more on why this might be a desirable outcome in a bit.

The verses used for this game could be short:  I love my love with an A, because she is ardent: I hate her, because she is ambitious : I took her to Andover, to the sign of the Angel : I treated her with artichokes ; and her name is Anne Adair. Or they might be long and rather involved—with the potential to be far more revealing:  I love my love with an S, because she is sensible; I hate her, because she is sarcastic; by way of presents, I gave her Shenstone, a squirrel, a sea-gull, and a sensitive plant; I took her to Salisbury, to the sign of the Sun, and treated her with soup, salmon, sand-larks, shaddocks, and sherry; her name is Selina Smith, and she is dressed in sarsenet.  Talk about an opportunity to get a lot off one's chest, all in the name of good fun!

Direct questions might be asked indirectly in a game of Short Answers. Ladies and gentlemen are seated alternately in a circle. A lady begins by asking her neighbor a question which he answers with a single syllable. Longer answers exact a forfeit for each extra syllable. Furthermore, neither questions nor answers may be repeated lest forfeits be incurred—unless of course that’s what one was looking for…

With Cross Questions and Crooked Answers a little bit of collusion, creativity, and craftiness could result in some interesting declarations. In this game, players sit in a circle. The first player asks their neighbor a question. For example, “What is the use of a cat?" The next player might answer: “To kill the rat, that ate the malt, that lay in the house that Jack built,” or some otherwise ridiculous reply. The answering player then asks a question of their neighbor and receives an answer and so on around the circle.  

Here’s when it could get interesting, though. At the end of the round each player must repeat both the question they asked and the answer they gave (to a different question entirely). A little scheming could lead to some very interesting statements being made.  And if not that, there’s always the potential for forfeits if any player cannot recite their question and answer correctly. (Yes, I know, I promise, I’m getting to that.)

Other Games

Interesting potential of a different sort came in Musical Magic, an amusement in which flirtatious actions could be encouraged and even directed by one's friends.   In this game, one player leaves the room while the others decide on a task or action they want to see that player take. It might be as simple as snuffing a candle, for a novice player, or as complex as kneeling before another player, removing their ring and placing it on the finger of the other player, for one with some experience with the game. 

Another player goes to whatever musical instrument is available and they can play creditably well and the first player returns. That player must then figure out his or her task through the guidance of the background music. The music would grow louder the closer the player got to the next correct action and softer if farther away. The music would stop when the player got the action correct. 

If the player gives up in despair which, honestly, seems like a likely result, then a forfeit must be paid. 

Added Benefit of Forfeits

And now the issue of forfeits and why they might be the whole point of a game.

When someone lost a game, they paid a forfeit. The forfeit could be an elaborate penalty or dare, which might be a great way to get even with one's rival. More often though, they were a thinly disguised machination for getting a kiss, as in the forfeiting player would have to bestow a kiss on someone, often the hostess, but it could be another player. Often, forfeits were accumulated all evening, until the hostess would ‘cry the forfeits’ and they would all be redeemed at once.

Considering how much flirtation and active courting might be going on under the guise of these games, it doesn’t seem at all far-fetched to think that paying or receiving forfeits from the right players might be the whole point after all.

References

Revel, Rachel. Winter Evening Pastimes; Or, the Merry-maker's Companion Containing a Complete Collection of Evening Sports, including Twelfth-night Ceremonies, with Copious Directions for Crying Forfeits, and Promoting Harmless Mirth and Innocent Amusement. The Whole Selected, Altered, and Composed, by Rachel Revel, Spinster. London: Printed for A. Mesnard, 40, Strand, 1825.

Find previous instalments of this series here:

Get Me to the Church on Time: Changing Attitudes toward Marriage
To Have a Courtship, One Needs a Suitor
Nothing is ever that simple: Rules of Courtship
Show me the Money: the Business of Courtship
The Price of a Broken Heart
Making an Offer of Marriage

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Though Maria Grace has been writing fiction since she was ten years old, those early efforts happily reside in a file drawer and are unlikely to see the light of day again, for which many are grateful. After penning five file-drawer novels in high school, she took a break from writing to pursue college and earn her doctorate. After 16 years of university teaching, she returned to her first love, fiction writing.

Click here to find her books on Amazon. For more on her writing and other Random Bits of Fascination, visit her website. You can also like her on Facebook, follow on Twitter or email 

Twelfth Night Revels

by Maria Grace

Epiphany or Twelfth Night was the exciting climax of the Christmastide season, a time for putting away social norms. It was a feast day to mark the coming of the Magi, and as such was the traditional day to exchange gifts. 

Decorations were to be taken down and burned by midnight on this day or the family would face bad luck for the rest of the year. Some believed that for every branch that remained a goblin would appear.

Revels, masks and balls were the order of the day and night. Often each guest would randomly select a character to play by drawing a slip of paper from a hat or bag. Guests had to remain in character for the entire evening. 

Besides the King and Queen, a variety of characters, often pulled from popular literature and plays, were available. Common characters included Sir Gregory Goose, Sir Tumbelly Clumsy, Miss Fanny Fanciful and Mrs. Candour. Sets of pre-made characters could be purchased from stationers, or a family might copy them from books on games and merry-making.

Servants were often included in the revelries. This could become particularly interesting when one became the king or queen for the evening.

Mince Meat Pie and Twelfth Night Cake

Though many dishes graced the tables for Twelfth Night revelry, two particular dishes were known for their connection to Twelfth Night.

Most considered mince meat pies, also known as Christmas or Twelfth Night pies staples of the season. Recipes varied by region, but usually included beef, poultry and other meats, suet, sugar, raisins or currants, spices, orange and lemon peel, eggs, apples and brandy. Leftovers from the Christmas feast would be used to make pies for the twelve days until Epiphany. Eating minced pie every day of the twelve days of Christmas was said to bring twelve months of happiness in the new year. To strengthen the charm, the pies must be baked by the dozen and offered by friends.

A special Twelfth Cake would be the centerpiece of the party. By the early 19th century, the cakes were elaborate creations with sugar frosting, gilded paper trimmings, and sometimes delicate plaster of Paris or sugar paste figures. In towns, confectioners would display these cakes in their shop windows that were illuminated by small lamps so the displays could be admired during winter evenings.

Parlor Games 

Parlor games were played by all classes of society and often involved overstepping the strict bound of propriety. Losers often paid a forfeit, which could be an elaborate penalty or dare, but more often were a thinly disguised machination for getting a kiss. Often, forfeits were accumulated all evening, until he hostess would ‘cry the forfeits’ and they would all be redeemed.

Blind Man’s Bluff and variations thereof

Playing Blind man's bluff

Many variations of this game existed, including Hot Cockles, Are you there Moriarty, and Buffy Gruffy. All the variations include one player being blindfolded and trying to guess the identity of another player who had tapped them or who they have caught. A great deal of cheating was generally involved, which only added to the sport.

Snapdragon 

A Dragon playing Snapdragon

 Raisins were piled in a bowl, topped with brandy and lit on fire. Players would try to snatch raisins out of the blue brandy-flames and eat them without getting burned—or lighting anything else aflame. The guest with the most raisins is destined to find true love in the upcoming year. 

While brandy burns with a relatively cool flame, I’m not sure I would suggest this for the next family Christmas party. Though not nearly so dramatic charades is probably much safer!

The Courtiers 

 The king or queen occupied a chair in the center of the room. The courtiers would then copy the monarch’s movements with losing their decorum. Any number of simple or vulgar actions might be attempted to cause laughter among the courtiers, thus resulting in a forfeit.

Steal the White Loaf 

 A chosen player, ‘it’, stood with their back to the others and a ‘treasure’ on the floor behind him/her. Another player would try to sneak up and steal the treasure. If ‘it’ turned around and saw them moving, then they would be ‘caught’ and become ‘it’.

Bullet pudding 

Flour was piled into a high mound and a bullet placed on the top. Players cut slices out of the flour pile with a knife without dislodging the bullet. If the bullet fell, the player had to retrieve the bullet from the flour with their teeth.

Post and pair 

This was a quick card game. Each player is dealt three cards. The winning hand was a pair of kings, queens or jacks, or otherwise highest ranking pair.

Tableaux Vivants 

Players took on the positions of a famous painting, nursery rhyme, or play and remained still and on display for those not participating in the scene.

Charades 

The game could be played two different ways. In one, each player in turn would recite their riddle, and the rest had to guess at their word. In the second, the party would divide into two or more groups, would create short one minute acts to describe the syllables, the last describing the whole word for the rest of the party to guess.

The End of Twelfth Night Revels 

Although Twelfth Night revelry could be peaceable and even family-friendly, it often became quite riotous thanks to large quantities of highly alcoholic punch served during the evening. In the 1870′s, Queen Victoria outlawed the celebration of Twelfth Night in fear the celebrations had become out of control.

References
A Regency Christmas. Kieran Hazzard ©2013 2nd Bn. 95th Rifles
Christmas in the Regency Jo Beverley
Celebrating a Regency Christmas.Regina Jeffers
Christmas Traditions in Regency England. Regan Walker
Christmas Frivolity. Joanna Waugh. 2008.
Revel,Rachel.Winter Evening Pastimes or The Merry Maker’s Companion. 1825
Jane Austen and Christmas: Celebrating Twelfth Night 
Jane Austen and Christmas: Parlour Games for the Season and Twelfth Night Twelfth Night
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 Maria Grace is the author of Darcy's Decision,  The Future Mrs. Darcy and All the Appearance of Goodness.  Click here to find her books on Amazon. For more on her writing and other Random Bits of Fascination, visit her website. You can also like her on Facebook, follow on Twitter or email her.